Friday 23 May 2008

When is a tree fern not a tree fern?

Well clearly that depends who you are. If you are a half Greek, half Belgian Prince who got asylum here by marrying one of our German Princesses, then it is if you say it is. That rather rude and ill-tempered aristocratic fossil, the Duke of Edinburgh visited the Chelsea flower show yesterday. When talking to Jamie Durie, a gold medal winner the Duke remarked “what a lovely tree fern”. Mr Durie politely told the Prince (not the pop singer) that it wasn’t actually a tree fern but a Cycad called Macrozamia moorei. Without waiting for the finished sentence, the Duke turned and walked away muttering “I don’t want a bloody lecture”. Grumpy old men shouldn’t surprise anyone. This is different however; it is born out of an attitude of total snobbery and contempt for “ordinary” people that is endemic to this parasitic line. I know that nowadays this wing of the European Royals have little or no power and are wheeled out, only as tourists attractions, at our quaint but totally irrelevant ceremonies. Now is the time to pack them off somewhere, let the Cornish reclaim their lands and let them fade away quietly. .

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